3rd Night Progress

Napping in mommy's boppy.

Okay so the 3rd night was somewhat of a success.  We went through our night time routine and he went down just fine.  We have been sleeping with the TV on so that it will mask any potential cries throughout the night.  The first two nights I really don't believe he cried at all.  But last night he woke me up somewhere between 4:30 & 5:00am.  I heard his screams (not cries) from across the house, with the doors shut and over the TV.  Again, I left the monitor off.  And I resisted.  I didn't get up.  As in physically.  I woke up and was awake the entire 2 hours he screamed so it was a successful night in the sense that I was able to listen to him scream for 2 hours and not get out of the bed.  Trust me when I tell you that it was quite difficult though.

All of these different scenarios constantly play out in my head.  What if he's thrown up all over himself?  Or what if he's got a dirty diaper?  I would probably scream for help too if I was trapped in throw up or poop.  Or maybe he's just awake and wanting to be picked up like usual.  I was tormented but I held back and didn't turn on the monitor or get up to go peak for if I did, my whole training would have been over and we would have had to start from scratch.  Don't know if it really would have been that detrimental but that's what I'm telling myself.  So I just laid there, and tossed and turned and tried to sleep all while my mind was running a bajillion miles a minute.  I watched some TV and then all of a sudden he was quiet.  So my mind starting going again.  What if he fell in his crib and hit his head or what if he's choked or can't breathe.  Or MAYBE he just went to SLEEP!  O.M.G. what is my problem???  Please ladies tell me this is normal mommy behavior!  Again, I resisted turning on the monitor or getting up to check.  Instead I just got up and got ready for work.  After my shower, I couldn't help but turn the monitor on to check.  I was already up by that time.  It's a good thing I didn't turn the monitor on earlier.  The booger had unplugged the cord from the camera so it was blank.  If I had seen that in the middle of the night I would have gone in there for sure!

So I went and peeped through his door and he was sound asleep.  It looked as though he had just fallen straight backwards like a board from his standing position at the end of the crib, near the door.  Picture: swaddled, standing and can't move legs.  Like a little butterfly in a cocoon he just falls back.  He probably sat down first and then laid out but who knows.  So I finished getting ready and went in to get him before it was time to leave.  When I changed him, sure enough...he had a dirty diaper.  So right away I felt bad for leaving him standing there screaming from poop in his diaper for 2 hours but then I told myself that if I had gone in there to change him, he would have completely woken up and probably not went back down.  He was alright with a little doo on his butt.  I bet that he wouldn't have gotten up otherwise.  So overall, not the best night, but not a complete failure either.  Success for me for not getting up though!!!

He slept all the way to Grandma's this morning and as soon as I tried to snap a picture with my phone, he woke up smiling like he was faking his nap...

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