Monday, January 31, 2011

Calling All of My Parent Friends:

I AM A SLEEP DEPENDENT HUMAN BEING....and I am struggling.

Help!  I need some advice...  I am fearful that I have created a bad habit over the past 5-6 nights.  My child has created a new sleep routine for himself.  This routine consists of him waking up between 1:30-2:00am every single night.  I mean it's like clockwork.  He wakes up, stands up and will not go back to sleep.  Period.  Unless he is picked up, in which he will immediately fall back to sleep in the arms of one of us sleep deprived parents.  And then if we try and put him back down, he wakes up again - right away.  It's a horrible, horrible, vicious cycle that has me carrying him to the couch, where I proceed to fall asleep with him in my arms.

I have done sooo good for the first 9 months not putting him in the bed with me.  I have blogged in the past about how easy he has been to put down in his crib.  But now it's not happening.  He wakes up and pulls himself up and stands facing the door screaming.  He gets in the camera and knocks it around as though he knows I am staring at him...trying to will him back to sleep.  If he woke up before, he couldn't get up so he would just tire himself out until his head dropped.  But now that he can stand, it seems as though he will never give in.  It's me that always gives in.  And I absolutely cannot stand to hear him scream the way he does for so long.  Regardless of whether or not I get him out of the crib, I am still awake once I hear him cry.  It's like this terrible feeling in your gut that you can't get rid of and only a mom knows.  Honestly I don't know if dad's feel it too but I know Ed can sleep through the alarm going off in his ear every morning so he can sleep through the baby screaming across the least for a little while and then it finally wakes him up too.  I can hear him from across the house with his door shut and ours...without the monitor turned on.  It's heart wrenching.  It's unbearable.  And I need to fix it.  I need to fix me, really.

I spoke to the doctor about it on Friday and he said it is normal for sleeping habits to change around this time.  His gums are probably bothering him plus his body is changing so much so that is normal.  I get that.  I get that this is just a phase and that he will eventually, most likely get over it and will get back to sleeping all night long.  What I don't get is how to not let this bad habit keep happening every night where the only way I can get him (AND ME) back to sleep is by picking him up and sleeping with him.  I am sure some people can manage but I cannot function on 2 hours of sleep a night from battling the baby.  Repeatedly.  Actually, not ever.

So help me...let me know your thoughts or what you did when you were in my situation.  Or just let me know that you let your baby sleep with you too and he didn't turn out to be a 10 year old that wouldn't go to sleep without you and I will feel much better!


  1. We have done cry it out with both of our girls and they are both fantastic sleepers and go to bed without a problem. If it a few heart wrenching nights of crying. I go to the kitchen in my house and turn on the radio so I can't hear it happening.
    I refuse to bring them to bed with me because I think I will sleep worse and my bed is only so big!

  2. Ohhhhhh, Rachel.....I SO SO SO feel your pain! Girl, this is EXACTLY what happened in our house! It was tough because one of us would always give in. Finally, Momma had to lay down the law. That child had to cry it out. (and eddie was NOT to go in there!!!)
    Some tips for you....
    If you think it's his teeth (more than likely it is), give him a big ol' dose of ib proferen before bed. Not Tylenol-- that wears off after 4 hours. IBProferen lasts 8. We could set an alarm by the 4 hours after we gave Cal tylenol-- he would always wake up screaming!!!
    If you decide (both you and Ed) to leave him in his crib to scream his head off (I swear to you, it works!), put a sippy cup of water in there with him. He will get super thirsty from all that screaming.

    The first week of screaming it out (it is soooo NOT crying it out!) is pure hell. You will think you are going to lose your mind (hence why you and Ed have to be on the same page). You will want to give in at some point every single night, but fight that urge!!! After the first 3 nights, he will wake up and then just roll over and fall back asleep again.

    I can not believe I am to a point where I am able to give advice on a child sleeping because you know what a HORRID sleeper Cal was...but now, he sleeps great! These are all tricks I tried when his sleeping patterns got broken. BUT, Chris will learn that it is much more coozy to snuggle up with mom on the couch than to be in his bed alone...don't let HIM train YOU! You are the one training him (someone said that to me and it was exactly what I needed to hear!!!)

    Sorry this is lengthy-- let me know if any of it helps!!!

    good luck!! xoxox

  3. Rachel, both of them are correct in their thinking. It is one of the hardest things to do but it does work. You remember how Renee was with Ricky and Jan. You can do it. I like the advice that you are training him, not, him training you. Tough love is the hardest, but, it will bring great benefits in the long run.

    Love, Dad


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