So lately I've had this urging desire to get out and walk. Not for the physical health benefits but the mental. Ed and I have been having a very challenging time at home with TJ and it has taken a toll on both of us. I find myself frustrated and feeling like I can't escape the walls of my own house. It's so small that there is really no where to go. Being a step parent is so hard.
So I walk, sometimes for several hours. I like to take Deuce to Country Park. Before I came back to work I would take him here several days out of the week in an attempt to burn the post baby blubber. Now that I have Thursdays and Fridays off, I can get back to my 1 mile loop at the park. We talk to the waterfowl and we quack at them because you know, they are all "ducks" to a baby.
Country Park leads right in to the cemetery where my grandparents are buried. So we go visit them. Deuce takes good naps on these long walks. But he won't nap unless he's tounching me in some way. And I have quiet time to myself to think. To think about where I am in my life. To think about all of the wonderful blessings I have been given. To think about all of the changes that need to be made. To think about all of the things that I still need to get done. To plan for the future. To reflect on the past.
And just to talk to my grandparents. My grandparents that I never really got to know. My grandparents that would be {are} so proud of me. My grandparents that meant so much to so many people. Read more about them
HERE and
HERE.
The cemetery can be so daunting but for me it's so peaceful. Instead of dwelling on the fact that my grandmother and grandaddy were gone before I finished 2nd grade, I like to focus on the fact that I can go talk with them whenever I want. Their grave is not across the country, only a few miles down the road. And while I know that there spirits were never in those graves, it's a resting place for their bodies and for my mind. I understand that others may feel differently.
But for now, it's my quiet place.
And it's the place I can take Deuce to tell him all about his great grandparents.
Rachel, how wonderful that you can do that. My grandparents graves are in PA, so I know how blessed you are to be able to a physical connection there. I also love walking - a time to be by myself and enjoy quiet. This time of year is especially beautiful as well:) It's nice to know someone else enjoys these simple things!
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